Tag Archives: Hurting

For My Children


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April is generally a busy time with Holy Days,  birthdays (my Mom, both of my children and me) as well as enjoying the first few weeks of warm spring weather. However this year I’ve decided through much heartache to step back from my children.

I’ve been fighting to be in their lives for what seems like forever,  only to be shown the door.  My oldest,  my baby girl turns 16 on the 30th of April and has not spoken to me since Christmas Eve 2013.  My son turned 15 on the 9th of April,  he doesn’t even claim me as his father. Even on Facebook he doesn’t claim my name but the name of the man his mother had an adulterous affair with (and its not his step-father).

This year I am nit sending cards or anything else.   Every April from now on I will dedicate an entry in this blog for them.

Katlynn and Edward I still love you, think of you both often and I’m still here. I can’t and won’t compete with substitutes. When you are ready to learn the truth and be the adults you claim to be we will talk.   Know my mind and heart has been aching for 14 years now, you both are missed and loved.

Growing Older


As I grow older I miss them more and more.  My daughter will be turning 16 in April and my son will be turning 15. They are what is considered Irish twins, for two weeks they are the same age.

I’ve been fighting most of their lives to have a relationship with them…with no luck, every step I take I’m pushed back three miles. So now I’ve gone into the distance and continue to pray that someday they will want a relationship, and hear the truth of what happened.  It doesn’t hurt any less but it hurts less in the long run.

After my Dad died I realized that our relationship wasn’t the best and we hadn’t spoken since I was in my late teens. We only have a little time with our parents before they are gone, cherish your parents and let them know your love before its to late.